Specter of a Moment: Missing Scenes from Season 3
by Lucy Sienna
Summary: These are a series of missing/extended scenes from a few episodes of Star Wars Rebels Season 3. It mainly focuses on Hera and Kanan and how they deal with his blindness, their relationship, and all that happens in Season 3. Rated T for language and suggestive situations.
1. Chapter 1

AN: The show "Star Wars Rebels" is meant for kids. I'm a teacher, I watch these things to keep "current" but as a Star Wars nerd, I couldn't help but fall in love with it. So here are a little more...adult (nothing too salacious! PG-13 max!) additions to the episodes of season 3. Mostly focusing on the "adults" in the show: Kanan and Hera, because I don't think they can really get into the two of them on screen because, again, kids show. I ramble. I own nothing. I don't know where this is going, and I hope you enjoy. PS: bold words are lines from the show

 **Chapter 1: Steps into Shadow, Steps into Light**

 _"On many long journeys have I gone._

 _And waited, too, for others to return from journeys of their own._

 _Some return; some are broken;_

 _some come back so different only their names remain."_

-Yoda, _Dark Rendezvous_

Grief. Everyone handled it differently. That's why she was in the Ghost, working on power relays that were probably fine, and Ezra was taking every mission he could get his hands on and why Kanan was…meditating. She knew that being Jedi again would change things for him - for all of them. But some things never changed. Hera's method of grieving was fixing things, taking action. Ezra's was to throw himself into something dangerous. Sabine drew - not painted - when she was truly grieving. Zeb ate. And Kanan? Kanan distanced himself from everyone and everything and meditated. Usually, he didn't distance himself from her, but this time things were different. Being a Jedi had changed him, but it had merely resulted in more time meditating and a bit more serious mien. This blindness was…it was going to be the biggest change they'd ever had to deal with. So it made sense that the grieving process was…different.

Hera had let him have his mental space. She'd let him meditate and pull away. But she'd had enough this afternoon and finally spoke up about it. It wasn't that she needed him back - though it would be nice to have him back in his co-pilot's seat - Ezra needed him. Desperately. And Kanan couldn't see it.

"Bad choice of words there." She told herself ruefully. "You'd think a Jedi would be able to sense when his Padawan was close to spinning off the rails."

Speaking of which, she needed to be in the command center. The team would have reached the junkyard by now. What Hera wouldn't give to have Kanan there, if only to provide one of his millions of witty one-liners when, inevitably, things went wrong. She sighed and made her way to the command center, reminding herself that her personal problems would have to wait. The Rebellion - the mission - came first. She and Kanan had decided that years ago…

 _"Okay, I know this is a ruse and all but…we're good together." Kanan said softly, handing her a cup of caf._

 _Hera sighed. She'd known this conversation had been coming the minute he offered to join her crew. Still, for more than two years now he'd been nothing but a professional and a friend. In that time, Hera had not only come to trust him with her life, but she'd done the unthinkable and fallen for him. But there was a war on. She didn't have time for that sort of thing. "Kanan…"_

 _He held up a hand. "Hear me out, Hera. I know, for you, the mission has to come first. And I'm okay with that. I respect that. I'm not talking a big change here. Just…after this mission, we continue to act…married."_

 _"How is that not a big change?" Hera asked, incredulous._

 _"Has anything really felt all that different?" He countered._

 _She opened her mouth to argue and closed it. They'd been running an operation posing as a married couple for two weeks. Other than calling each other endearments on occasion, and a handful of kisses, nothing about their behavior had changed. "What brought this on?" She changed tactics. This was a territory she had hoped to steer clear from._

 _"This morning." Kanan sighed. "I can't…I can't get it out of my head."_

 _Hera shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant when she was anything but, "We got carried away undercover. Momentarily."_

 _"Hera, we were alone in our room. The only reason I was even in the bed was because you insisted. And I don't know how we got…entangled like that, but I do know that we both made the first move when we woke up." He looked down. "If it isn't mutual, we never have to talk about this again." Kanan raised his head and looked at her in the eyes with a confidence that wasn't cocky, but hopeful. "I don't think I'm wrong in thinking that this is mutual."_

 _Hera sighed. They had grown so close the last couple of years. She trusted him with her life, didn't it make sense to also trust him with her heart, which was clearly what the traitorous organ wanted? "It was mutual." She admitted. "But we have to take this slow. And the mission has to come first."_

 _"I agree." He smiled, one of those adorable, truly happy smiles that he seemed to reserve just for her. "How do we…seal this agreement?"_

 _"I can think of a few ways." Hera grinned, pulling him toward herself and capturing his lips with a kiss._

From that day on, they'd simply been together. Their relationship had progressed slowly, and almost completely in the shadows. Hera was sure her shipmates knew of their involvement…well, maybe not Ezra. Every time they'd been together since he joined their crew, they'd done it when the kids were gone. Which is what they'd usually be doing now. Except Kanan was…not really around.

"Captain. Commander Bridger has missed his check-in." Sato reported as she walked in.

"Get him on the com." Hera shook her head, wondering what the youngest member of her family had gotten himself into this time.

Hera listened as Ezra evaded her questions and was clearly not following orders. He was in so much trouble when they got him back. Maybe he was just too young to have command right now, especially after the loss of Kanan's sight and Ahsoka at the hands of Maul and Vadar. Now they would have to mobilize the fleet to go pull him out of trouble. Again. Hera walked into the Ghost's bridge and gasped in surprise.

" **Kanan**?" She asked.

" **Ezra's in trouble**." He said. " **Let's go**."

Hera thought about asking him how he knew that as she completed the pre-flight, but figured it had to be some kind of Jedi thing. Instead, she just let him know how she was feeling. " **It's good to have you back**."

"How long?" Kanan asked as they entered hyperspace.

"About half an hour." Hera replied and turned to look at him. "Are you really back?"

"Yes." He nodded. "I'm sorry if the distance…hurt you."

"I know how you deal with things. And if it was just the two of us, I'd have given you longer before I pushed you to rejoin the world. But…" Hera trailed off.

"Ezra." Kanan said softly. "I know."

"Not just Ezra. Sabine needs you. So does Zeb, though he'd never admit it." She replied.

"And you?"

Hera smirked. "I should think I've made that pretty obvious."

When Kanan and Ezra had returned from Malachor, Kanan had told her everything that had happened. She hadn't wanted to know, to put faces to the evil in her nightmares that tried to take her family from her, but she knew he needed someone to tell, someone to listen. Mere days into his recovery, their physical relationship resumed - which they learned quickly that Kanan's blindness was a non-issue in that area. Of course, those encounters had all arisen from nightmares - both his and hers - and stemmed from a need to remind each other that they both still lived. But things had been far from normal in every other aspect of their lives.

Kanan looked down, in a sign Hera knew was guilt. "I'm sorry. I've been…using you."

"And I've been using you." Hera said softly. "I haven't heard either of us complaining, love. It's part of being…what we are. We're there for each other. It's what we've needed to get through this. And whatever you need is freely given."

"Still…"

She sighed and tried a new tactic. "So, next time I have a nightmare, I should, what, do nothing? Then not sleep. And then the next night, it happens again, and I don't sleep again. What happens if my exhaustion catches up with me during a mission? Everyone deals with things in their own way. Part of what helps me get through the nightmares of almost losing you and Ezra is reassuring myself by checking on Ezra and then making sure you are well and truly alive and back with me. Neither of us is taking more than the other is offering, and both of us need it. Is it any different for you?"

"No." Kanan still sounded defeated.

"Then there is nothing to feel guilty over. Do you truly think there is something wrong about us, Kanan Jarrus?" Hera demanded.

"No!" He replied, fiercely.

"Then you have nothing to be guilty about. Don't let the loss of your eyes blind you to the truth: you could have come back with no arms and no legs and it wouldn't change how I feel about you. It wouldn't change how anyone in this family feels about you."

Kanan smirked. "Is this the 'enough with the self-pity, get off your ass' talk?"

Hera grinned, delighted to hear the witty, sarcastic humor of her beloved Jedi coming back. "You knew it was coming."

"I did." He grabbed her hand and kissed it gently. "But thanks."

"You can thank a girl better than that. But later. Right now, we've got to focus. We'll probably need to rescue the kids."

"Probably?" Kanan turned towards her and Hera knew he was raising an eyebrow beneath his mask.

She shrugged. "A girl can hope."


	2. Chapter 2: Holocrons of Fate

AN: Some more missing moments/extended moments from Season 3's episode _Holocrons of Fate_. Again, bold words are lines from the show. I included a lot in here because I thought there had to be a lot going on in the heads of our favorite heroes. Enjoy :)

 **Chapter 2: Holocrons of Fate**

 _But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow._

 _Even darkness must pass._

 _A new day will come._

 _And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer._

-Sam, _The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers_

Kanan had a feeling as soon as the poor soldier said "red blade" that the _Ghost_ was in trouble. Hera was in trouble. He missed being able to see the look on her face as they commed the _Ghost_.

At least Ezra could see, and he was seeing Hera. " **Hera! Am I glad to see you're all right**."

" **Kanan**." He heard her melodious voice say and there was a hint of worry there.

Kanan had to get the warning out. " **There's another Inquisitor after us. He knows where the** ** _Ghost_** **is**."

" **Kanan, it's not an Inquisitor**." Hera's voice had more than just a worried tone now.

" **Oh no**." Ezra said, alarmed.

Kanan fought down the feelings of helplessness. " **What? Who is it?** " He asked, trying not to panic.

Then the voice came. A voice Kanan was sure was burned into his memory. " **Just an old friend, Master Jedi**."

 _Maul._ Kanan fought the panic again, calming himself. He wouldn't do Hera or the others any good if he couldn't focus. Maintaining his calm demeanor was difficult, especially when Maul asked for his holocron. It was one thing giving the Darksider the Sith holocron. It was quite another turning over the legacy of his master to that…thing. But he would gladly turn it over if it meant keeping his family safe. A plan started forming in his mind, he only hoped that Bendu was feeling cooperative.

Hera hated that someone had invaded her home. Yes, she knew he was some powerful Sith, and she knew that it had taken everything Kanan had to defeat him, but it still rankled. And then that…thing had the audacity to ask for a tour.

 _I'll give you a tour alright_. Hera thought, and then paled as she heard the reason behind the tour. _The holocron. No_.

In as defiant a manner as possible, she led Maul down the corridor, opening the doors of her crews' private quarters. She ignored his remarks as she came to the door of her quarters and the door of Kanan's. On one hand, she knew the holocron was in his quarters. She'd never tell the Sith that, but she knew it. On the other hand, her quarters were where they spent their time together and she couldn't bear to give Maul any more ammunition against Kanan and Ezra. He already had them - no reason to rub spice in the wound by allowing Maul to see exactly what Kanan and Hera meant to each other. She sighed and opened Kanan's door.

" **Ah, yes. This is it. A dull and dour chamber. These are the quarters of a Jedi.** " Maul said, stepping in. " **Show me where he keeps the holocron**."

Not on your life, buddy. Hera didn't even flinch as she lied. " **I don't know anything about him**."

Maul didn't buy it. " **That's not true. You know all about Kanan Jarrus. Or should I use his real name? Caleb Dume**."

Hera was taken aback. She didn't even think Ezra knew Kanan's real name. How, then, did this creature? And then there was a sudden pressure in her head. Maul was forcing his way into her mind, accessing her memories. Hera tried to fight, tried to think of schematics or math or anything…but the Sith found what he was looking for. Hera was suddenly pulled back into her own mind and into her memories.

 _"He's got the Force." Kanan sighed, absently stroking one of her lekku._

 _"So see if he's strong. He did really well against the Empire, even though I know you helped him. You could train him. It wouldn't hurt the rebellion, to have two Jedi or almost Jedi in it." Hera replied, resting her head on his chest. "Let's see what he does."_

 _"Agreed." Kanan smiled._

 _The memory changed again, this time to Ezra leaving the ship after they saved the wookies. Kanan stopped him long enough to retrieve the holocron, which Ezra had opened._

 _"Go after him."_

 _"I've got to. He's still got my lightsaber. Adept little thief." Kanan smirked. "Plus I think he'd make a great apprentice."_

 _Hera practically beamed as he tossed her the holocron. "Put that back for me."_

She tried to stop the memories, but Maul was too strong and he saw the location. He released her and Hera saw him turn towards the drawer. Opening it, the Sith pulled out the ancient Jedi device and Hera felt her heart plummet. _I'm sorry, Kanan_.

Kanan was glad he had so much to focus on with Ezra and retrieving the holocron, because it kept him from worrying overmuch about Hera and the others. It wasn't easy, but Ezra and he had finally gotten back on the right path. Still, the Jedi felt the need to test his Padawan, just a little, as they entered hyperspace.

" **You wanted it, now you got it.** " He said. " **If you really think it'll help us against Maul, open it up**."

Ezra only paused for a moment. " **I'd rather hear what you have to say**." He handed the holocron back to Kanan. " **What's our plan?** "

 _There is no emotion, there is peace._ Kanan thought to himself, keeping his feelings well in check. " **I think we oughta play it by ear."**

He could feel the surprise radiating off of Ezra. " **How can you take this lightly**?"

 _There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._ " **The greatest power Maul has is our fear that he'll hurt our friends.** " Kanan explained. " **We have to control that fear. Stay relaxed**."

" **Okay, relaxed it is.** "

 _Kid, if that's relaxed, I'd hate to feel what 'keyed up' is_. " **You don't sound relaxed.** "

" **Well, I looked relaxed.** " Ezra countered.

Kanan sighed. "I'm serious, Ezra. I know this…it isn't easy. Believe me, I know. But I also know you're about as stubborn as I am and so we need to use that. Don't let Maul have power over you because he has taken those we care about."

"How do you do it?" The Padawan asked.

"Practice. And meditation." Kanan shrugged. "And experience. I've learned that Hera doesn't need me rushing in all the time to save her. Nor do Sabine and Zeb. We know they're safe until we're at the rendezvous. We also know that once we're there, we'll be able to do something about keeping them safe. We are not going into this blindly - at least, you aren't - we know what we are facing, so we have nothing to fear."

"Nothing to fear. Right." Ezra took a few deep breaths, finally calming down. "I can do this."

Of course, once they landed, Kanan had to repeat his own advice to himself. Over and over. Maul had found two ways of getting under Kanan's skin: his blindness (which, of course, Maul caused) and calling Ezra his apprentice. A few weeks ago, that last one would have really riled him up. Now, Kanan knew, Ezra was okay. He was back on the right path. Still, that didn't stop Kanan from being annoyed with the Sith.

 _There is no emotion, there is peace._  
 _There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._  
 _There is no passion, there is serenity._  
 _There is no chaos, there is harmony._  
 _There is no death, there is the Force._ Kanan repeated to himself.

Ezra seemed to be holding up okay. There wasn't anger anymore…not truly. It was more of the defiance that he'd shown way back when they'd first met. That was good. Of course, he was being sent off with two armed droids with the instructions that if anything untoward happened, Hera, Zeb, and Sabine would be killed. Kanan managed to keep his cool as well as he followed Maul, and even employed a few of the sarcastic comments that he usually used to help keep calm in a crazy situation. But then he felt himself being pushed into a smaller space, and he could feel that he was near the outside of the ship, he could feel the Force warning him of danger. Then the hatched opened and he felt himself being sucked out into space. He panicked for a moment, but then calmed himself and drew on the Force. He could do this, with the limited atmosphere and the Force propelling him. Kanan leapt, allowing the Force to guide him back to the ship, and safety, and he felt himself enter a force field just as he felt himself on the verge of losing consciousness.

 _Okay. Let's not do that ever again. Catch your breath and then you've got to move. If Maul tried to kill you…the others aren't safe either._ Kanan tried to calm his breathing and stood slowly. _Where are they?_ He reached out in the Force and felt Ezra immediately, and then searched a bit more to that bright, warm spot he knew was Hera. She wasn't far, but she was in danger. Opening his eyes, Kanan saw the Ghost, her ramp down. _That has to be where they are_.

Using the Force to guide him and to propel him faster, Kanan made it on to the ship just in time. He could sense the droids arming their weapons and aiming. With a leap and one swoop of his lightsaber, they were down. Another wave of his hand released the binders on Hera, Zeb, and Sabine. Hera immediately turned around and took his hands.

" **Where's Ezra**?" She asked.

" **With Maul. Let's go**." He replied, they could celebrate being alive later, when they were all back, safe and sound.

The way the room was lit up, it was easy to find the two. The others shielded their eyes - it was far to bright for any humanoid to see properly. But Kanan…for the first time in a while he could see. It wasn't like he remembered, but he could see Ezra - and his new haircut, which he'd have to ask about later. Kanan resisted the temptation to turn and look at the others, one last time. His focus had to be on his apprentice. He knew he couldn't step in and stop them, but he could stop Ezra. Relaying Bendu's warning wasn't enough. Kanan had to remind Ezra what they meant to each other. " **Trust me**." He said, and Ezra finally looked away.

The holocrons exploded, sending everyone flying. Sabine was the first one up, having landed partially on Hera. Maul was already gone. Hera sat up, shaking her head. "Kanan? Zeb?"

"Here." Zeb groaned. "That was…whoa."

"I'm fine." Kanan said, sitting up.

"Ezra!" Hera rushed over to the downed teen. "Kanan…Kanan, he's not waking up!"

He stood and knelt down next to her, gently lifting Ezra up and searching him in the Force. He was there, he just needed to get back to consciousness. Kanan helped guide him, with his voice and the Force. Finally, Ezra opened his eyes and returned to them. He could feel Hera restraining herself from wrapping him in an enormous hug - wrapping them both in one of her hugs. But they needed to find out what happened, and if it could help them. It wasn't much, but it was more than they had before. And Maul didn't have the complete picture either.

"Okay, let's get you home." Hera put an arm around Ezra and helped lead him to the Ghost. "Chopper, get us going."

The little droid twittered something that sounded almost compliant and polite - very un-Chopper like.

"You turning over a new leaf, buddy?" Kanan asked.

Chopper turned and let off a stream of insults, mostly aimed at the Jedi.

"Kanan." Hera glared at him.

"I didn't say anything!" He held up his hands. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

"Bed?" Ezra asked.

"Yeah. Bed. You've been up almost an entire day and that holocron thing took a lot out of you." Kanan replied. "Zeb? We'll put him in my quarters so he can stay on the bottom bunk."

"I got it." Zeb opened the door, and Kanan helped Ezra sit on the bed.

"I don't want to take your bed. You're just as tired as I am." Ezra said.

"I'll be fine, kid." Kanan shrugged, he wasn't planning on staying in his own quarters tonight anyway. "You just rest. Call if you need anything or something feels off."

"Sabine, will you and Zeb make sure the nav computer is set and that Chopper is flying this thing right?" Hera asked. "Kanan has a few cuts and scrapes that need attention."

"I can take care of those, if you want." Sabine offered.

"Nah. You and Zeb just get the Ghost home. I'll deal with Kanan." Hera sighed. "Come on, Jedi, into my quarters."

"You know, we could probably let down some of the secrecy in front of them." Karan said softly.

"No. After what happened to me today, I don't want them to know anything more than they need to." Hera shook her head and melted into Kanan's open embrace. "I'm sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for? And don't say getting caught by Maul. You were overmatched."

"No. I…well, I didn't tell him but…he was in my head, Kanan. He saw…things." Hera sighed. "My memories."

"Many Jedi couldn't have fought off his attack. It wasn't your fault. What did he see?" Kanan asked.

"A private conversation or two. I felt so…invaded. So exposed. And it was all because he knew, he knew somehow that we…he knew your real name." She bit her lip. "I don't like it."

"I don't either." He pulled her even closer. "I'm so sorry he did that to you. Do you want me to…check you over?"

"Can you do that?" Hera asked.

"I can see if there was anything…damaged. I don't want to poke around too much." Kanan said softly. "Are you sure?"

"I trust you, love." She nodded.

Still holding her close, Kanan sat on the bed. Hera positioned herself in his lap. Closing his eyes, Kanan gently ran a hand in front of her face. It was so like the move Maul had made, Hera had to force herself to stay still. Then she felt him. This was different than when Maul was in her head. Kanan was gentle, he didn't look anywhere closely, he just checked for signs of damage and kept moving. As he felt around in her head, Hera could feel him. Could feel his concern, his care, his love. It was…wonderful. Slowly, Kanan eased himself back out of her head.

"What's the prognosis, Master Jedi?" Hera asked, leaning her head against his.

"Well, he saw some things that he definitely shouldn't have. But no damage done. You're safe. And I'll try and teach you some ways to defend against that. But not tonight." He touched her cheek gently. "That was too close, Hera."

"You did well, though. You were calm."

Kanan laughed. "Do you know how many times I had to recite the Jedi code to myself to keep calm?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm still proud of you." Hera kissed him gently. "And Ezra. You two seem to be…back on track."

"We are." Kanan sighed. "You were right. He did blame himself for this." He tapped the mask.

"Yeah. I've had enough of this thing." Hera gently removed the mask. "You don't need it. Not with me."

"I know." He gently pulled the helmet and goggles off her head. "So, how are my scrapes and cuts?"

"I think you might be able to earn a few more." She grinned and kissed him.


End file.
